If you and your ex-spouse have children, you will maintain a presence in each other’s lives as co-parents. Regardless of what occurred during the divorce process, you must work together to raise your children in a loving and stable environment that helps them feel secure. While some former spouses can build a friendship from the remnants of their past relationship, this is not necessarily the case for everyone. However, if you can learn to respect one another, cooperate, and compromise, you can become effective co-parents.
Focusing on the Needs of Your Children
Co-parenting after a divorce can be incredibly difficult, particularly for those who endured an especially hostile and stressful process. The fact is that you may never get the closure you need or the apologies you want from your former spouse and you should not let this prevent you from putting your children’s needs before your own. To cope with these feelings, you should find a healthy outlet, whether it be taking up a new activity or seeking counseling. Doing so can help you keep a level head, so you can smoothly resolve conflicts.
Here are some effective co-parenting tips for the recently divorced:
- Only communicate directly with each other: To avoid messages getting lost in translation, you and your former spouse should communicate directly with each other instead of through others. Never use your children as messengers, even if you think the message is harmless. Technology makes it possible for us to communicate in numerous ways, so find what works best for you instead of resorting to a game of telephone.
- Ensure your conversations are always child-related: You and your co-parent should keep your conversations focused on your children. If you delve into more personal topics that have nothing to do with co-parenting, you will likely find yourselves embroiled in some of the same arguments that led to your divorce, which will create unnecessary tension in your family. Keep your attention on the needs of your children and avoid digressing.
- Create consistent routines and rules: If your household rules and routines differ substantially, it will confuse your children and problems in both homes. You and your co-parent must aim for consistency when it comes to raising your children and, although identical rules may not be possible, you should do the best you can to mirror each other.
- Always show respect: You do not have to agree with each other to respect each other, so keep that in mind when you are discussing your children. You are a co-parenting team and neither of you will gain anything from disrespecting each other.
With some effort and patience, you and your co-parent can overcome your obstacles and successfully raise your children together.
Schedule a Consultation with a Family Law Attorney Today!
If you are experiencing difficulties with your co-parent that require legal attention, contact the team at Fischer & Van Thiel, LLP for the exceptional advice and representation you deserve. You can rely on our experienced family law attorneys to ensure you secure the results you need, so you can move forward.